Columbus Meets Jack Sparrow
In his quarters on the Santa Maria, CHRISTOPER COLUMBUS furiously makes notes in his log, maps strewn on his desk. His pilot, SANCHO, enters.
SANCHO You are needed on deck, Capitain.
COLUMBUS What is it?
SANCHO A ship is on the horizon.
EXT. DECK. SANTA MARIA - DAY
Through the telescope, he observes the ship's black hull.
COLUMBUS Sparrow.
SANCHO Here? Should we stand ready for battle?
COLUMBUS No. Negotiate.
As the Santa Maria and the Black Pearl grow within hearing distance of each other,
COLUMBUS What brings you to these parts, Sparrow?
SPARROW The same as you, Columbus. Spices, silk, a short cut to the Indies.
The ships are now parallel; Columbus and Sparrow face to face.
COLUMBUS You'll never find it, Sparrow.
SPARROW No?
Sparrow gestures to his pilot who disappears, then reappears moments later with ISLAND NATIVES and a chest of booty.
COLUMBUS Where did you find them?
SPARROW That is for me to know and for you to find out.
COLUMBUS Buffoon.
SPARROW Ah, ah, ah.
Sparrow jumps onto a mast, then down to the hull, speeding ahead.
COLUMBUS (to Sancho) Remain on course.
When land is sighted, Columbus' CREW notices a fiery glow, the Black Pearl uneasy in the water.
COLUMBUS Get ready to dock.
EXT. ISLAND - NIGHT
The Santa Maria rests adjacent to the Black Pearl. As its crew climbs down, Sparrow and his men are eating fish on leaves, fraternizing with the natives, and worse for drink.
Columbus steps up to Sparrow who salutes him.
COLUMBUS (indicating to his men) Let's get back onboard.
Sparrow fumbles to his feet, ordering his men.
SPARROW Get up you bungling idiots!
The Black Pearl remains on Santa Maria's hull. When Columbus sights land, he jumps overboard, swims to shore, then collapses.
As Sparrow is about to do the same, DAVY JONES emerges from the water.
SPARROW Not now, Davy.
DAVY JONES We have lots to talk about, Sparrow.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
A TEACHER stands before a classroom of engrossed ten year olds.
TEACHER So, children. Without Davy Jones' help, Columbus may not have discovered the Caribbean Islands.
A GIRL raises her hand.
TEACHER Yes, Jane.
JANE (sobbing) But what happened to Johnny Depp?
FADE TO BLACK
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