The Hunchback of Hollywood by Petra Michelle

 

FADE IN:

EXT. MEDIEVAL PARIS. SQUARE OUTSIDE NOTRE DAME CATHEDRAL - DAY

QUASIMODO, Notre Dame's disfigured bell ringer, is sentenced for disturbing the peace and abducting ESMERALDA, the beautiful gypsy dancer. He is shackled to the pillory where he is flogged and exposed to the stifling heat and public disgrace.

THRONGS gather to gawk at the Hunchback's demise. His head bowed, Esmeralda looks on with pity. Quasimodo slowly raises his head and peers into the crowd.

QUASIMODO (cries out) Water.

CROWD (mimics) Water.

QUASIMDO (emphatically) Water!

CROWD (laughs) Water!

All are silenced as Esmeralda walks up the stairs to the pillory and offers the Hunchback water from her pouch. He turns away, embarrassed of his ugliness in the light of her beauty.

She patiently allows water to moisten his parched lips. Remembering his thirst, he bends his head backward, mouth opened, and guzzles the remaining water, then collapses.

PHOEBUS, Captain of the King's Archery, rides through the crowd and up to the pillory. He dismounts, joins Esmeralda, then turns to face the people.

PHOEBUS Have your last stare at this poor creature for he will no longer be deformed. I, Phoebus de Chateaupers, will perform a miracle.

When Quasimodo is released, Phoebus escorts him to the cathedral, the crowd on their heels.

INT. NOTRE DAME - DAY

PHOEBUS I've been hired my dear disfigured man by Nip/Tuck. It seems they believe I can perform wonders with my dagger and sword. Let's prove them right, shall we?

Quasimodo blinks, perplexed. After hours of grueling nipping and tucking, Phoebus steps back to admire his masterpiece.

PHOEBUS Voila! Magnifique! You shall no longer suffer such humiliation!

EXT. NOTRE DAME - DUSK

As they walk down the cathedral's steps, the crowd rushes towards them and GASPS. 

PHOEBUS My friends, I give you the new and improved Quasimodo.

Slender, handsome, and erect, a spitting image of George Clooney, Quasimodo steps forward. Esmeralda immediately joins him, beaming with joy and desire.

QUASIMODO How can I ever repay you, Phoebus, and Nip/Tuck. And, here's to my beautiful bride-to-be.

PHOEBUS (turns to Esmeralda) Marrying Quasimodo?

ESMERALDA  After the prenup, of course.

FADE TO BLACK