Flaming Spade by Petra Michelle

FADE IN:

INT:  PRIVATE DETECTIVE'S OFFICE - NIGHT

Disheveled piles of papers dominate the DETECTIVE'S dimly lit office.  When a WOMAN appears at the door,

DETECTIVE (VO)  Of all the detective agencies in every town, in all the world, she walks into mine.

Without exchanging a word, she sits opposite SAM SPADE.

SPADE  Cigarette?

WOMAN  Sure.

After lighting her cigarette, he sits on the edge of his desk facing her.

SPADE  You're looking good, Ilsa.

Inhaling his compliment with her cigarette, she smirks.

ILSA  When I was referred to you, I had no idea it would be...you.

SPADE  Who'd you expect?

ILSA  The sensitive young man I wanted to marry.

As Spade returns to his chair,

ILSA  You've got quite the reputation.

SPADE  What's that?

ILSA  A hard, no-nonsense detective. Exactly what I need now.

SPADE  Yeah? Why?

ILSA  I've been accused of embezzling thousands of dollars from my husband.

SPADE  Did you?

She abruptly rises.

ILSA  I'm innocent!

SPADE  I believed you once and got a year in the county jail.  Why should I believe you now?

ILSA  Because...

Spade notices a revolver at his office door as it slowly opens.  He rushes to Ilsa, pulling her to the floor as a SHOT shatters the window.  

SPADE  Before I call the cops, what's going on!

ILSA  I don't know.

As he dials,

SPADE  Your lover?

ILSA (reluctantly) My brother.

SPADE  Here's looking at you kid. In jail.

ILSA  Why, Sam?  Why?

SPADE  You broke my heart, baby.

ILSA  I didn't ask you to steal that diamond necklace.

SPADE  I would have stolen the county treasury for you...and you knew it.

ILSA  But I never wanted that, Sam. Never!

SPADE  No. You wanted my heart.

ILSA   And you never gave it to me.

Spade stares at her long and hard over the rim of his glass of gin.  His phone, RINGS, startling him, causing him to spill the drink on himself.

Suddenly, sparks fly from Spade's hands and travel throughout his body.  Ilsa recoils at the sight and flees as the sparks ignite the papers.

In the flames,

SPADE  We'll always have Paris.  We'll always have Paris.  Here's looking at you, kid.  Here's looking at you, kid.  I'm HAL of the 9000 computer series.  (In slo mo)  Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do...

FADE TO BLACK